Saturday, August 05, 2006
SICK
im feeling really sick now.
fusion workshop projects takes up so much of my time.
despite the harsh schooling hours.
i've to find time to organise sessions with my group members,
to jam with them.
there're 72 music students from all courses,
classical, jazz, pop, worldmusic and music technology.
divided into 12 groups.
each group 6.
all group has 6 students.
and every two weeks, they'll change a leader.
unfortunately, im the FIRST leader.
and when i WAS informed bout this fusion music project,
i was left with only 13 days to think and plan out what to perform.
other people in de group has MORE den 2 weeks to plan as the performances are held fortnightly.
but me, being the FIRST leader,
have only 13 days to plann..
despite the harsh hours of school,
in between i still have to find time to gather my group.
apart from that.
i've organised 3 sessions so far.
and not 1 of them was FULL attendance.
on wednesday was the worst.
only 1 turned up.
sighh..
group members why cant u understand what im going through.
i WANNA be outstanding,
i dont wanna go up on stage and perform SHIT u know?
im sure u guys dont want too.
and one thing i dont have is, TIME.
im so pressed for TIME.
till today, i only have 6days left.
u guys will never know how hard it is to arrange parts for every single instrument.
telling the guitarist how to play.
writing a guitar solo for the guitarist.
teaching the bassist how to play.
writing a harmonising trumpet part for the trumpet.
getting the drums to play what i have in mind.
the hardest to teach is the piano.
she's a grade 7 Classical Pianist.
and can only play classical.
its so hard to teach her. chords everything.
i've to play for her and she takes her time to write down de score.
no one understands how hard it is to be on the composing and arranging side.
how many times have u guys composed a song and teach ur members to play?
i have. TONS of times. when i was back in secondary school band.
composing drum cadences, and after that i STILL have to teach them.
how many times have u arranged music for ur members to play?
i have once again, and SOME OF THEM have SO MUCH comments bout what i've composed.
its not i dont listen. but since im the leader, whatever sounds good to me, i'll take in, however once ive decided that this part or that part HAS to be like that, i HATE arguments. u're gonna be leader SOON too RIGHT? so what for u have so much comments.
u can just jolly well shut up and play what i ask u to play.
and when its my turn, i'll play what u want me to play.
man.....
there're definitely ups and downs....
but this is really stressing me loads...
chill out??
its not easy...
wenwen.
im sorry for being harsh.
but u pissed me real badly this time.
i cannot meet u for 5 days is also not my fault.
why do u complain all these....??
i also want to meet u so badly, i din even complain.
can u just try to understand what im going thru anot??
what the problems im facing, and instead of giving me more problems.
lessen my burden???
until now sometimes u STILL can forget to study.
every nite i come back home still must ask u whether u've studied and what u've studied.
u're still the same.
nothing much changed about you.
im sorry.
but im really getting very very very frustrated now.
what adds on is my eyelid.
it hurts so much that now my head hurts too.
better leave me alone for now.
i can just burst ANYTIME now.
IM FUCKING STRESSED CAN ANYONE JUST UNDERSTAND ME?!
I DONT EVEN HAVE TIME FOR MYSELF.
HOW DO I FIND TIME FOR YOU BAOBEI.
CAN SOMEONE FUCKING UNDERSTAND IT.
IM FEELING FUCKING SICK NOW.
».lostindestars.« @ 8:09 AM
